Thursday, August 27, 2009

Computer Pain Scale

Inspired by the little chart they give you at the hospital, I present the Computer Pain Scale, a handy device for determining the severity of someone's computer problems.

(click image for full size)

If you use this I'd love to hear about it.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Suggested email footers

A few humble options for closing your next email, ready for copying-and-pasting pleasure:

This email contains PRIVILEGED and CONFIDENTIAL information. If you are not the intended recipient, any Disclosure, Action, or Dissemination is PROHIBITED, and you must DELETE this email, FORMAT your hard drive, BURN your printer, and POKE your eyes with NEEDLES, after which you must DRINK toxic levels of VODKA until you forget what you have seen here. Who knew our little email screw-up could so catastrophically ENCUMBER and OBLIGATE you? Our LAWYERS, that's who.
Sent from my full-sized keyboard, not my smartphone. I have no excuse for all these comical typos.
"What man does not here place a sagacious quote, an author's affectation as antidote to the fatuous twaddle typed above?" --Hullifer Gimlet
***Antivirus engine v2.001.733701*** This email scanned for viruses by a self-promoting anti-virus program, or perhaps a virus created this footer. Who can say? Why not click the link?
Like bath paper streaming behind your shoe, your free email provider tags your every outgoing message. We could advertise high fructose corn syrup here, and you wouldn't even know it! www.yippieyahoo!.com

How about you?  Do you have a favorite email footer that adds flavor to your messages?

Monday, August 17, 2009

The end of Digital Cool

Discovered in my basement--an 80s order form for video gaming merchandise; a scan of the front is below.

With video games now a mainstream form of entertainment, it's easy to forget that early gamers were rebels, genuine outcasts.

Anyone wearing these clothes and accessories in the 80s was a true dissident, a free-thinker, the fullest expression of self in a world that scorned and ostracized the gamer.

Look upon these garments, you the young, you the adolescent, and weep. The ladders have been tipped, the giants scattered, the bar lowered until it rests on the surface. These heroes, this digitized brotherhood--how now will you ever walk among them?

(click for full-size)